I've said za on better journals than this.

The Cold Case Files marathon on A&E makes me happy. However, seeing an episode about an old friend of the family who raped and murdered his sister-in-law in front of his three-year-old daughter nine years before I was born? Whose house I've been to family barbecues at, who always went on fishing trips and stuff with our family, and who used to babysit my brother and sister and I? Is too fucking messed up and surreal to contemplate.